Anxiety

Today is one of those days, ya know when you wake up and you think what the heck am I doing and how did I get to this point. And can I keep going? Should I keep going? The last two days Im fighting hard against the wave of anxiety that often overcomes me. This anxiety that Im not good enough, that Im not doing enough, that I'm somewhat socially awkward, the list goes on and on... Its an anxiety that starts within my belly and shoots up through my lungs into my throat - and I take a deep breath within me to try to breath it out. And though it releases the tension, that burning sensation remains within my stomach after I let the breath out.

But I have prayed for intimacy with God, and today He wants me to believe in him. That his intentions are good for my life, that he has a will a plan and purpose. He wants me to be believe the scriptures that say a broken heart and contrite spirit he does not despise. He wants me to know that he is near to the broken hearted. 

And so I will.... walk blindly... and believe... for if nothing else he deserves that from me.