In the Darkness of the night, we find the Light of the World.

We're back... And I have no idea how to summarize the meaning of the past week- I feel like a different person.

In my mind I keep saying that the weirdest thing is knowing that stuffed inside that broken down shell is my mother's soul. Its hidden inside a disfigured face, a wounded body, and a spirit that is confused, frustrated, and in more intolerable pain than anyone person should have to endure.

Its sobering to stare into the eyes of a woman who is full of regrets, yet grasping for another day that she might have hope. She feels unloveable, unattractive, unwanted, useless, and at the mercy of those around her to just keep going from day to day. In these feelings it was good to recount with her the story of her life. How she added value to the lives of others, how she truly loved others and sacrificed for others. It was good to point out specific instances that showed that her life up till now meant something and that she had immeasurable value and worth.

Her desire now is to get better, so she too will be able to help someone. God has given himself to her through this journey and it shows. She is a different woman full of compassion, mercy, and love. And he has done the same for me- I don't think I will ever be able to look at another ill person the same way again. Ive never felt so much strength from God to accomplish a single task. He is my HELPER and my STRENGTH. As I breathed in and out deep laborious breaths with her, I breathed them for me too.

We all have our cross to bear, some large and some small and if we haven't had to yet, we will. But it is not a punishment from God, rather a gift. And I now know why God asks us to care for the sick and needy, for it is not a burden, but a gift as well. In these tasks HE administers Grace to accomplish all things. And in the long road of suffering we find an inward peace and strength we never knew was possible. In the darkness of the night is where we find the Light of the world.

Pray for my mom... 1. that her medicare/SS Disability will come in. 2. that there will be many angels of mercy that visit her. 3. That God would give her the grace to keep going from day to day until he takes her home. 4. That she would be healed or given the gift of going home.

Nat