Pretending

This morning it was just me and R at the donut stop going on a little date. In my mind I had envisioned a fun morning with I love you's and rainbows. What I got was a fit over a water cup instead of a tea cup... We went through the normal rigamoo of choose a happy heart, you can't have your donut until you choose thankfulness, and there was no budging. So back in the box it went.

As we were driving home in tears and frustration, I said R, you know what I do sometimes when I'm not feeling happy. I pretend. I pretend like I'm happy so everyone around me is not affected by my sadness.

And as soon as the words left my mouth a pit the size of a watermelon sat in my stomach. I just taught my daughter christianity 101. "Good christians pretend to have it all together." "Don't let anyone know your sad." Or as a friend of mine once said "fake it till you make it"... We put up walls around us of pristine perfectness and that's why we despise each other  because we compare our unhappiness to someone else's "picture perfect" exterior, and we loose the raw edges that make us human and lovable.

So we took out the big eraser... I said ok...that wasn't it...  I brought out the glass of half water and we talked about choices. I found an apple with a brown spot, and we talked about choices.  Choices of thankfulness. If God want's us to be "thankful in all circumstances" then he has provided a way.

And now with frosting covered lips and truly thankful hearts we have a good learning moment for mommy and for daughter.