Another Day...

At 3:45 I awoke with my face to the bed, both my arms were numb and I was straining to breathe. In my dream I had been admitted to a nursing home due to an early onset of a life threatening disease. The medicine made me short of breath and no one at that moment was there to care for me. 

All I wanted to do was communicate to people. I wanted to tell them that I was completely normal in my soul, that what they saw on the outside was separate. It was such a contrast, I was all there but my body wasn't, yet people continued to talk to me like a child, they continued to walk in and out of my room as if I didn't know they were there. All I wanted was to get out of that body and do the things I use to. Paint... I wanted to paint.

Then river came, she had been scared of me in previous days but this time she came to me and snuggled me. She nuzzled her head in my chest. I looked at my faithful Dustin and he saw the tears and thought that I didn't want her there. But then he looked into my eyes and he could see my pleading words, no don't take her. In that moment is was all that I had ever wanted....

Father let me not take this day for granted, let me be thankful for another day to love my children and care for them. Help me not to raise my voice, or be easily angered. Help me to foster their exploration. Help me to keep my priorities straight work comes last. Dead last.. Help me to love those you have given me well today. Let me live today as though it's my last. amen.